Glory be to God. I don’t know how to be a project manager, dad, or a husband. I think I’m doing a good job but it’s not about the good we are doing. Most of the time when I try to do a good thing I do it the wrong way. I feel like I’m a good dad because I’m trying to raise my daughter up in the Lord. That can’t be a bad thing but I can do it the wrong way. Recent example the pineapple taste test. I’ve been adamant lately about my daughter eating healthier. She decides which foods are good before even trying them. I feel her predetermined mind causes the dislike of most foods. How can we dislike something without trying it? Which was a big fault of mine before God and when I gave everything a chance to see if I liked it. I finally got my daughter to give pineapple a try and she took a tiny bite, said it tasted like lemon, said she kind of liked it but wouldn’t eat more. Why wouldn’t she have more if she liked it? Did she even try it if she thinks it tastes like lemon? Is she lying to me? She can’t lie to me because she shouldn’t do that. I have to get to the bottom of this and fix it, I don’t want her going astray. So I pry and pry and try to find the truth and in doing so I ruined an opportunity to show love. After poking and prodding trying to get her to eat more, thinking I can get her to like what she doesn’t, I upset her. She didn’t even want to try it but she did, she didn’t really like it but she told me she did, and how do I repay my little girl for doing all that for me? By disciplining her for not eating enough to my satisfaction. In doing so she was hurt that she tried to make me happy and I got upset. So what she tried to do as a good thing, which actually was a good thing, turned into a bad thing because of my issues.
“and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,”
1 Thessalonians 4:11 NIV
I previously thought this meant for gossiping about others or intervening in others situations. However, I see now it goes deeper than that. It means not trying to know what others need or attempting to help others with issues they do not disclose. I can not change or save anyone, only God can do that. By trying to change something I may think conflicts with Gods word I am minding their business with God. I need to let go and let God do his work. I say that I need to step in because they don’t know but if they don’t it’s because they don’t know God or listen to Him. If they don’t listen to Him what makes me think they’ll listen to me. Who am I? I’m a prideful, arrogant man with plenty of his own problems that needs to focus on what I am doing and not the business of others. Mind my own business by just showing others love and praying for them.
In the end, most of my issues stem from my distrust in God. I’m impatient and when I don’t see immediate results I think He’s not working. How absolutely absurd I truly am.
I thought I knew how to be all the roles I have but I don’t. Firstly because I do not know how to be me. It’s like a glove without a hand to operate it. It cannot grasp onto anything and is blown around in the wind. I pray Father to learn better who you are to then learn who I am and fill this empty shell. I’m easy to crack and quick to be swayed by the gusts of life. I pray to gain a firmer foundation in your love. Help me to overcome and be ok with not being ok until I do. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
33 and a Third 