The only thing to fear…

I remember when I was a little kid, I cried to my grandma that I didn’t want to die. I don’t exactly remember what stirred up this emotion. It could have been something I saw or heard, but the fear of death was instilled in me. Throughout my life, this fear has had certain stages. When I was younger, it was almost this wonder. “What does happen beyond this life?” Either I had a good imagination or I thought I had enough time to figure it out but it didn’t cause too much negativity after the initial incident. As I got older, this fear grew in increments.

The biggest increment was after I had brain surgery. I was cursed with, what seemed to be, a limited life. After my surgery, scans showed “spots” in my head. Despite being referred to Sloan Kettering, no official diagnosis could ever be given. This is due to the inability to biopsy them with their sensitive location (which also made surgery out of question).Low grade gliomas was their best “unofficial diagnosis” with a life expectancy of 10 years.

As a result, I was set on this schedule to receive a scan which would determine if those years were to be cut short. They started every three months, then after a few it went to six months, then twelve, and eventually 18 months. I called this increment “the blessing and the curse”.

The blessing was that it gave me motivation to “live life to the fullest” you know the old version before “YOLO”. By this time, I already wasn’t a good person, this kicked it into overdrive. It gave me this selfish urgency to life. Whatever I wanted to do, I did. Whatever I wanted, I bought it. Trying everything to find this feeling of fulfillment where I could say “I’m ready”. Sad news, after going full throttle for ten years, that feeling still eluded me to the exhaustive point of almost giving up the search.

Now, my fear is that someone else might be stuck in that fear and could be until it’s too late. I fear someone I know may never hear that they truly don’t need to fear. Well here is my declaration to everyone. What pulled me out of that fear was Jesus Christ. He pulled me out of that pit and set me on the path toward eternity. As I learn to walk it with him, I grow stronger in faith to let go more of that fear.

However, the other fear grows more giving an urgency to what any Christ follower should want: to let others know and point them towards the Savior. I don’t receive anything in return, not here on earth anyway, because I truly don’t do anything to save anyone. I’m sharing what Christ has done for me, that He is real, He loves you, and He can save you too. I use the word “you” because whoever reads this, it’s true for you.

I pray you come to know Him who saves us from ourselves, from past traumas, from future mistakes, from sin and death. That you find the Truth, the Way, and the Life. I pray you see that the only thing to fear, is not death, it is the Lord. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Glory be to God 🙏

”For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.“ John‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬ ‭KJV‬‬