The only thing to fear…

I remember when I was a little kid, I cried to my grandma that I didn’t want to die. I don’t exactly remember what stirred up this emotion. It could have been something I saw or heard, but the fear of death was instilled in me. Throughout my life, this fear has had certain stages. When I was younger, it was almost this wonder. “What does happen beyond this life?” Either I had a good imagination or I thought I had enough time to figure it out but it didn’t cause too much negativity after the initial incident. As I got older, this fear grew in increments.

The biggest increment was after I had brain surgery. I was cursed with, what seemed to be, a limited life. After my surgery, scans showed “spots” in my head. Despite being referred to Sloan Kettering, no official diagnosis could ever be given. This is due to the inability to biopsy them with their sensitive location (which also made surgery out of question).Low grade gliomas was their best “unofficial diagnosis” with a life expectancy of 10 years.

As a result, I was set on this schedule to receive a scan which would determine if those years were to be cut short. They started every three months, then after a few it went to six months, then twelve, and eventually 18 months. I called this increment “the blessing and the curse”.

The blessing was that it gave me motivation to “live life to the fullest” you know the old version before “YOLO”. By this time, I already wasn’t a good person, this kicked it into overdrive. It gave me this selfish urgency to life. Whatever I wanted to do, I did. Whatever I wanted, I bought it. Trying everything to find this feeling of fulfillment where I could say “I’m ready”. Sad news, after going full throttle for ten years, that feeling still eluded me to the exhaustive point of almost giving up the search.

Now, my fear is that someone else might be stuck in that fear and could be until it’s too late. I fear someone I know may never hear that they truly don’t need to fear. Well here is my declaration to everyone. What pulled me out of that fear was Jesus Christ. He pulled me out of that pit and set me on the path toward eternity. As I learn to walk it with him, I grow stronger in faith to let go more of that fear.

However, the other fear grows more giving an urgency to what any Christ follower should want: to let others know and point them towards the Savior. I don’t receive anything in return, not here on earth anyway, because I truly don’t do anything to save anyone. I’m sharing what Christ has done for me, that He is real, He loves you, and He can save you too. I use the word “you” because whoever reads this, it’s true for you.

I pray you come to know Him who saves us from ourselves, from past traumas, from future mistakes, from sin and death. That you find the Truth, the Way, and the Life. I pray you see that the only thing to fear, is not death, it is the Lord. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Glory be to God 🙏

”For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.“ John‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬ ‭KJV‬‬

One who walks beside…

What makes a good leader?

A good leader is one that walks beside those who should look up to them. A leader strives to be better themselves, encouraging those around them. Motivating others to be better and guiding them. A good leader also listens to those he leads and is humble to take direction along the way.

Finally, a good leader knows they are never in full control. Some may stray away regardless of guidance. Others may not trust in your judgement and go their own way. Some may see, that the best way to lead is along side.

”shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.“ 1 Peter‬ ‭5‬:‭2‬-‭4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

When forgiven…

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Im not sure how to have a negative example of feeling loved, regardless I will share two of my most positive examples of feeling love.

The first example was September 17th, 2021. I pray to never forget the day, like the Israelites forgot their miracles in the wilderness. The miracle that occurred the morning of the 17th, is the miracle that is destined for all who come to believe. While I lay at rest, not sleeping but not awake, I felt this feeling wash over my entire existence. I felt a calling and that all my past was washed away and I knew He is real. I knew Jesus is real and felt his merciful forgiveness for all that I have done. It was a feeling of love I cannot fully describe, but it was so pure and powerful that it a love that could only come from God.

The second example occurred nine days later on September 26th. This love came through my wife but am sure it originated with God. The days between these two events were powerful, I believe God was building my faith for what was to come. On this day again early in the morning, I became even more free from my past when, after confessing to my wife 15 years of sin against her, she forgave me. It was a powerful decision that I know God must have empowered her to make.

I believe if this decision was laid out to others, not many would be able to make the same choice, and many would say she was wrong for it. Regardless, she did and again in this moment I felt indescribable love.

The following months were not easy to say the least. Our true forgiveness can take much longer than God’s, and rightfully so. Since these events, the love I felt from these two sources has encouraged me to follow Christ and to be a godly husband.

The greatest choices are sometimes the hardest to make. My wife made one of the hardest, if not the hardest, I have ever witnessed a person make. I try to repay her for the love she showed me that day, but I’m not sure if I will ever be able to.

The love I felt from Christ, on the 17th and since, has encouraged me to help others to feel this love. I cannot describe how to feel it to others, if I could it would be to seek Him, ask for his forgiveness, and if He forgave me He can forgive anyone.

”Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.“ 1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4‬-‭7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

”You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.“ Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

”but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.“
‭‭Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Romans 12:2

Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

My mind.

”Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.“
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Second chances

I saw a post where someone asked “Will those left behind get a second chance?”

I believe anyone has a second chance as long as they are alive. Until judgement day, by then all choices must be made. Thief on the cross shows this, in that even while being punished for being committed of a crime, in his last moments of life accepted Christ and is with Him in paradise.

”And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.“ Acts 2:21 KJV

”Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name.“ Revelation 3:12 KJV

”And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write; These things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth; I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name. Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee. Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth. Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown. Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name.“ Revelation 3:7-12 KJV

Imagine trying to read this after the rapture. (Unless the world is like in “the book of Eli” and all bibles have been burned.) You try to decipher this without a helper, man or spirit. Few will be able to therefore, as long as one can call of the name of the Lord, I believe they shall be saved. However, after He receives His new name, that is it. Hell is eternal separation from God, they will never know His Name. Glory be to God

Nature of existence

“Once upon a time there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.

“Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed.

“Maybe,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.

“Maybe,” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

“Maybe,” said the farmer.”

–Zen Parable

Nature: the basic or inherent features of something, especially when seen as characteristic of it.

So the physical environment dictates what a flower is going to look like. The nature of a flower is its appearance that changes due to environmental variables.

The story is talking about good and bad events happening to a farmer. His neighbors emotions wavered with each occurrence but the farmer remained essentially at peace. Also notice they wavered with deciding good or bad “luck”. What is luck? Is it by luck that one year a flower may sprout and colors be more brilliant making it a likelier target for bees and giving it a better chance to be pollinated? The story shows there’s high and lows to life and it’s not based on luck. What is it based on then? Is there a calculated amount of effort one can put into life that dictates our outcome? Not necessarily, two people can train as hard as possible but only one can win the race. What does that mean for the one that comes in second place?

If our emotions waver with how our lives appear in the physical sense, yes the nature of our existence is dependent upon the natural world, but when one puts their faith in Jesus that no matter how our situation appears on the outside there is a purpose that is ultimately good, there’s power in that to remain as the farmer. That power is hope. I know that God is real, Jesus walked this earth, and the Bible is the Word of God meaning it is all true. Every word and that gives me hope. Now I waver in my faith because I am flawed and working through sanctification. God is good all the time. I’d rather determine the nature of my existence and not let the world change me. I’ve lived both ways and the old way for many more years. I’m 35 now I was saved when I was 33. I might not be able to find the right words to convince anyone but there isn’t one things that can be said or event that can happen that will make me think otherwise. God is real, he loves us. Jesus loves us so much that he willingly let man crucify him so that each one of us will have a chance. A chance for each of us to decide truly the “nature of our existence”.

Events, like with the farmer, are not inherently good or bad it’s up to us to choose. That is with everything in life, our choices creates our realities. I told someone the other day “we might not know how roads are created, but any road that leads to God is worth the drive” that’s hard to remember when one is in the middle of a season but it remains true regardless of our circumstances. My life hasn’t been easy driving, and it hasn’t been as hard as another’s journey but I know that my statement remains true for anyone. It’s up for each to decide, we all have free will.

“Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.”

Matthew 18:14 KJV

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

John 3:16 KJV

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28 KJV

“Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:4-7 KJV