Child of God

“And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 18:3 NIV

I hear people call others all sorts of names and labels. I try to shy away from this ritual now knowing that it’s not truly who they are. I have a lot from my past that if people knew they would give me all sorts of names and titles, and I would not appreciate any of them. They would be deserved by my actions but God has forgiven me of them through Jesus Christ. Amen. If God chose to no longer see who I was, why do people hold others to what the world has turned them into? When we were born, we were looked upon as innocent little babies. However, we were born into sin, into darkness. Every thing that is layered over a person, that distorts them from being as an innocent child, is of the world and is not who they are. Unless told by another man and then can become accepted by that person. After being born again through the blood of Christ, God sees us as this innocent child in a harsh world. In turn, us as innocent children should do our best to remain that way. Even though we may mess up, look to the Father for guidance and forgiveness. Through your past experiences, and how you now see through the layers of darkness the world has placed on you, you can guide others. Help them navigate through their layers of names or labels, of darkness. All this can be done, through the glorious Name of the One. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Hurricane Ivan 9/28/2022

My first time experiencing a hurricane and Ian did not disappoint. I was in a tornado when I lived in New York, back in 1995. I was seven years old and eating a piece of chicken when it happened. My mom rushed us down stairs as soon as the big tree in the front yard started heading towards the house. Since then I have been terrified of thunderstorms, especially ones with a lot of wind. Hurricanes are all wind, but I was ready to brave it with the dogs. Sent the wife and kids to refuge on the east coast and I was ready to ride it out. I made sure we were ready for the fallout by shuttering up the house and went out to get some extra gas for the generator.

Now, my wallet was taken from my truck over the weekend. Like my wife said, my fault for not locking the truck, but how is it my fault when someone goes into my truck and steals something. Yes, I could have locked the door but I’m spoiled after having a car that locked itself so I’m not yet retrained to pushing the locked button. Anyway, off I go to get gas with the credit card my wife gave me, I also have cash but who uses that when they have credit cards. I got to my moms house to pick up the other two gas cans and make sure the house is ready for the storm. My wife has already tucked in the outdoor furniture and it was pretty much ready to go. Grab the cans and off to the gas station. Circle K down the street out of gas, but the guy behind me said Sunoco has gas. Why he stopped in here when he knew Sunoco has gas? Guess to let me know. Get to Sunoco, no line, go inside to get some snacks first, don’t want to fill the cans and leave them outside this is Mad Max time. Inside I grab a bag of flamin hot Cheetos and Starbucks double shot.

In line to pay, I spark up a conversation with a gentleman about the storm. I’m not really paying attention but the cashier bags up my items and I say God bless to the man behind me, off I go. Excuse me! Says the cashier. Do I still need to sign? No says declined? What, no run it again. Declined! I’m lost now. Had to walk past everyone and put my items back on the shelf. Defeated I pull out my phone ready to call chase and give them a piece of my mind for this card not working in the middle of a natural disaster. Told myself “ No go to the truck and call this is going to get ugly.” Get in the truck, called chase and I hear “this account has been closed”. My wife gave me one of my own credit cards I thought was in my wallet that I cancelled. Good thing I had the cash.

Head back home, get the cash and back out to the gas station I go. Go inside, grab my same items but this time added two gatorades on top, stay hydrated. Go to pay, explained the whole debacle to the cashier, who was completely unamused. Paid up and out to get gas. Met a man by the pump who need a little help, I got you brother. Told him the whole story and not much more of reaction, he was pretty consumed by the hurricane. He has been through three already and they all were not fun. I didn’t think so but what is “fun”

Anyway. Gased up and heading home.

I got home and relaxed in for the night. Started my call assault on everyone in the contact list. Always lands on the person I need to hear from at that moment. Right place, right time. Always with God. Had a great talk and felt at peace with the pending doom of Ian. After a lot of debating I made my peace with it and leaned on God for strength and protection. Until the next morning, when I woke up to texts at 2:48 am and it’s Mr Martin with the death update. Sustained winds 125 mph heading right for me. Appreciate the update but I haven’t had my coffee yet or even a second R.E.M. cycle. The death updates continued until about 9:45 am when I made the decision to leave. Wife said hotel had dogs and now the last worry I had keeping me here was gone. Packed up the dogs and ran from Ian. God protect my home but I am not going through Cat 4 on my first try. Took the longest route, which most won’t take but will sit in traffic in the short cut for the same amount of time. Got to the family at about 2pm and was able to relax, somewhat.

Updates about the storm started coming in. Pretty scary storm surge and winds. I prayed and went through the rollercoaster of emotions. Tried to put all my trust in God but faltered and worried at times. I decided to wake up early and head home to check on the house before the family got there.

Up at 5am felt like it was time to go. Kiss the wife good bye, let her know I’m heading out. Packed up the dogs again and headed for home. Anxiety knocking on the door. What is this going to look like? Should I try to imagine what my house will look like? Should I picture it destroyed so if it’s not I’m surprised? But if it is I’m “relieved?”. I’d rather be right about it being destroyed than trusting in God and knowing it’s going to be good. That no matter what the house looks like, it’s going to be good. Having hope that whatever I’m about to go through, is exactly what I’m meant to. Faith. I built a lot of it through this, Thank you Jesus. I drove home seeing wreckage and destruction. Trees down and highway signs twisted up like tin cans. Pushing that picture of what my house might look like out of my mind. So much destruction, praying people will look to God for strength and comfort in the mist of such chaos.

I finally, after repeated turn around due to road closure ( one being three doors down from my house), I made it home. Left the dogs in the truck (it’s a cool day and windows down), and walked around to access the damage. Right side, fence gone, debris everywhere, but no major damage, Glory. Surveying the roof, a few missing shingles on one corner, Glory. Back yard loaded with debris and so is the pool, Glory. The lanai screen is gone from branches of a neighboring tree, Glory. Go inside the house and nothing has moved, Praise be to God. No water damage, no wind damage to the house and we made it through our first hurricane, blessed.

How can one feel blessed in such a time? Shouldn’t I feel angry for this to happen? Moved down to where I thought I’m suppose to go and got hit with a 500 year storm in my first 9 months. I can’t be angry, it happened and now I look for why and the good that will come out of it. The blessings out of a tragedy. I feel blessed to only have lost power and no lives. Blessed to have time away from electronics to clean the yard together. Blessed to have nights sitting outside in awe of the amount of stars in the sky. Clear nights after a storm front and lack of light pollution adds up to a beautiful night sky. Glory be to God.

He can turn storms into blessings. No matter what the situation is, if you focus on Jesus, you can walk on water. We get mad or resentful when we lose things. Children don’t like getting their toys taken away. A child that knows their Father loves them and will be there to take care of them no matter what, is a child that can conquer this world. That child can be born at any moment, in any person. As soon as that child decides to trust in their Father, our Father, that He knows what’s best for us and what we need more than we do, beyond what we do. He’s taught us how to live, we only have to listen. We won’t be perfect at it, but He knows that too. Hard to imagine this Love because it is so rare.

Things I began to love again from this storm: love for watching the nights sky, love for putting chips on sandwiches, love for helping others, trying new things like syphoning gas out of a boat, love for meeting new people, and love for life in the hardest of times. Grateful for finally meeting my neighbors and having time with my family. Everything will get fixed and figured out when it’s suppose to. At least we are alive to figure it out. I pray for everyone affected by the storm to look to God for strength and peace in a chaotic time like this. Strength to get through the coming storm after the storm, and peace to get through knowing you have a purpose to still be here. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Autopilot faith

If things were going wrong, and I asked God to take this cup from me. Is that a wrong thing to say? No, right? Jesus asked God to take His cup away the night “saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” Luke 22:42 KJV. Sometimes we may think we aren’t strong enough to truly understand and believe Gods will. The beauty is in humbling oneself to admit that fact, that we might not be strong enough, but knowing that fact and having the strength to trust in God to ask him to do it or carry it for us, is beautiful faith. It’s the weak made strong through God. “And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.”

Hebrews 11:32-34 KJV

To be able to say, “God let me just sit this one out, you take over I’m just going into autopilot”. That’s true faith and with faith like that, you know everything is going to be good. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; And lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, And he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV. You just sit back and let God take over, I pray one day I get to that faith. I pray Father for autopilot faith that I just trust in you and love you, and remained focused on you that even through the hurricane of my life, I just sit back and watch. Take my cup Father. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, I pray. Amen 🙏

A Good Testimony

The other day I saw an interesting post about a man talking about his own or similar testimonies. That their testimonies were of being saved at an early age which led to, what could be construed as a “boring” testimony.

One perspective to take is the person telling the testimony believing themselves it is boring. What is missing from a testimony that would consider it to be boring? Is it missing the exciting parts that are later to be repented? Only someone of the world would want to have those experiences on their cross. A “boring” testimony to me, an agnostic whom was of the world for 33 years, would be a great testimonial to that persons faith. For someone to be saved young and remain strong in faith is an incredible testimony. Not that there is any need for weighing of testimonies, but someone saved at 5 lived already for 28 years with God verses someone saved at 33. That’s 28 years already walking in the light and not lost in darkness. 28 years not chasing after desires while still feeling empty inside. 28 years of not feeling alone, confused, angry, envious, and lost. Telling the stories of my darkness to those back then, it felt exciting. We laughed and boasted. Bragged of accomplishments that brought myself deeper into the abyss. The things I used to brag about, I rebuke them. Only way I would find those stories interesting is if I wanted to have them. What makes a good testimony? God. God makes a good testimony. He makes all of our testimonies. Every single testimony has one thing in common, and it is the only aspect of testimonies deserving of boast. Glory be to God that saved a young man from years lost in darkness and decided to walk with him. Glory be to God who also pulled a 33 year old agnostic out of the abyss and to walk with him. Grateful for every day that You walk with me. Glory be to God.

The Well of Life

“Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.”

Genesis 21:19 NIV

The story of Hagar is an interesting one and one that many people can relate to. Now, not exactly relate in the sense that you were thrown out by your loved one because the spouse disliked your son and didn’t want them to share in the inheritance promised to their son. “But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.””

Genesis 21:9-10 NIV

However, more relatable is when Hagar is in the desert with Ishmael. “When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she began to sob.” Genesis 21:15-16 NIV

Hagar was so overwhelmed by the situation. She used to be with Abraham, had his son. The future she could of imagined. Then to lose that and find herself alone with her son, in the desert, and now without water. She becomes so consumed by fear and doubt that she accepts the worst case scenario, that the boy will die, and places him under a bush to save herself hear the cry of her child dying. Why was Hagar sobbing? Was it her failure being removed from Abrahams house? No, it was a situation out of her control. Similar to situations we find ourselves in at times. All the questions, frustrations and fears that consume our minds at those times. How did I get here? Why did this happen? What am I going to do? What if x,y, or z happens now? We become so consumed by our problems it’s almost impossible to see a solution, even if it’s right there in front of us. “Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water” Now did God literally open her eyes as if she has had them closed the entire time? No, God opened her eyes and her mind to possibility, to see clearly through all that she had blinding her way. “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalms 55:22 NIV. By casting our cares or worries on the Lord and trusting in Him to provide, guide, or help us thru them, it gives us the confidence to take the next step. It relieves our mind to think clearer and to see the clear choice that’s right there in front of us. If you are lost, wandering in the dark, scared, worried, and afraid to take the next, open your eyes, open your mind to the true answer. See the well and take a drink. Quench your thirst for true, meaningful, purposeful life. Glory be to God.

When ideologies become identities

All the hate in the world caused by ideologies. The division caused by devotion to one side or the other. Why? Most ideologies state their right from wrong. A man made ideology has no fundamental truth that can determine its validity. Matters of opinion. That’s all it is. Right from wrong. Legal or illegal. Good or evil. Truth or a lie.

God is the ultimate mediator. His skill is discernment. His bias is truth. His demeanor is peace, love, and understanding.

A God guided or mediated conversation leads to deeper understanding and enlightenment. Differences of opinion are boiled down to mutual understanding. Without a need to be right, most likely caused by pride, in the end both engaged in conversation are considered victors. Rewarded with new perspective and gaining of wisdom.

Once identity is grounded in faith, worldly ideologies cannot cause divisions. Faith will become most important to uphold instead of allegiance to trending agendas. Identify with an ideology that brings together instead of dividing.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:1-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’””
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19:19‬ NIV

“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭25:21-22‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Infinite Wisdom

It has already been written. The path has been set. Designed with everything in mind. All choices have been made and all who will, have already been saved. It’s already been chosen and all who are his, he already knows them. Everyone has their own part to play. Search him to find your role. He knows what’s best and all we need. His will is found by the more you read. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9 KJV

God bless 🙏 Glory to God

Thought of Revelation

Revelation is a revelation in of itself. The revelation that we do not know when it will happen and that’s the beauty of it. We do not know when the end will be, but we do know what we have to do, to make sure we are on the right side when it does. To think before the end comes you’ll make it right, by then it might be too late. Make the right choice now, and your life will change. Choose the right side like your eternity depends on it, because it does. If he came back tomorrow are you ready? Is your lamp full, are you awake.

Life is afforded to everyone who chooses it, seems easier to the point it’s unbelievable. That it can’t be that simple, but it can. It’s the hardest path one can walk but it’s the easiest, why? Because when you choose this path you don’t walk it alone. The problems you have now are seen as obstacles, as trials. You are guided by God now, they are by design. To make you into the person you were meant to be. Now you will enjoy the life you were given.

For when the end comes, there won’t be anything to fear. You chose your side and you lived a better life. Full of joy and love, not hate and anger. It wasn’t easy but it was worth the suffering. In the end, the temporary suffering will lead to everlasting life. If this sparks something inside of you maybe it’s time for your own revelation.

Romans 3

“What advantage then hath the Jew? or what profit is there of circumcision? Much every way: chiefly, because that unto them were committed the oracles of God. For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect? God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, And mightest overcome when thou art judged.

First, their unbelief is what caused them to wonder for 40 years in the wilderness. To test faith. Then, God gave Moses the Ten Commandments, during their journey through the wilderness, so that when they took their home in the inheritance God had set for them, they would not lose their way and turn from God. We saw time and time again them turning away from God and God giving a way out (a person who shows them their wrongdoing) and back to Him. Similar to when anyone is in a bad situation and ask God for a way out. Then when we are in the clear, what most likely happens? Back to the same old antics. Through all that God continues to be faithful to us. Waiting for us to make the right decision and remain focused on Him. Each time we don’t make a right decision, the negative consequence becomes blamed on God. Most are more likely to dam God than to praise him. what guided one to the situation where now his damnation is requested? Also, not all negative things can be avoided regardless of faithfulness to God, but faith in God can lead you through those hard times. When things start seeming to go wrong, is God turning away from us, or have we turned from Him? God is good, always. If one believes that to be true (in thy sayings) how can one blame bad on God?

Let God be true, but every man a liar. God be true, God fulfills his promises if we fulfill our vows. Vow to have faith in God and to love Him with all your heart. To trust in Him that he will provide for what we need so we can live a life that brings glory to His name. It seems every time I try to take control things start going wrong.

But if our unrighteousness commend the righteousness of God, what shall we say? Is God unrighteous who taketh vengeance? (I speak as a man) God forbid: for then how shall God judge the world? For if the truth of God hath more abounded through my lie unto his glory; why yet am I also judged as a sinner? And not rather, (as we be slanderously reported, and as some affirm that we say,) Let us do evil, that good may come? whose damnation is just.

First, I do not believe God casts vengeance upon us. I believe He allows us to suffer the consequences of straying off our path. Without suffering off our paths, where would the determination or incentive to get back on it come from? Second, To knowingly commit a “lie” and sugar coat it with God will make it right is a backdoor to damnation. God cannot be fooled, true intentions are always known to Him. (Ice porch story) Path to hell is paved with good intentions. Ever try to bargain with God and try to make selfish desires seem righteous with promises of the outcome. Just give me a million dollars and ill do… or if this happens then ill be able to do this good… God knows how we will act in any given situation, if he does not open a door into a situation we “think” would be good for us, he KNOWS it won’t be. This passage makes me think about Judas Iscariot. He betrayed Jesus and through his betrayal led to his crucifixion that allowed us all salvation through his death. Can Judas be justified in his action?

What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin; as it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, There is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; There is none that doeth good, no, not one. Their throat is an open sepulchre; With their tongues they have used deceit; The poison of asps is under their lips: Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness: Their feet are swift to shed blood: Destruction and misery are in their ways: And the way of peace have they not known: There is no fear of God before their eyes. Romans 3: 9-18

I believe these verses are meant to humble. To show all that we each have our faults and to place faults of others over the faults of ourselves isn’t beneficial. Judging is a tricky thing. How can discernment come without judgement? Judgement is for God only, why? I believe we can’t truly know what causes someone to do what they do or be the way they are that we don’t agree with. However, to discern what causes those actions or personalities can be a way to help another.

I believe “we” is used to show we are all in this together. To think of it in a way more relatable to today I would add Jews, Christians and Gentiles being the day and age “atheists” or “agnostics”. People who do not have God in their lives and are of this world. Are we better than they? Have most of Christians at times done things of “Gentile” qualities? Sin is a sin and is of sin. “Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God. Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.” Romans 19-20 “but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 KJV. Example to true extent of sin but we know we are not bound by law if one lives by faith. Living by faith and in Gods grace is something you s hould want for everyone. Unconditional love is an amazing feeling that can overcome any negative emotion. God’s love is boundless and plentiful for any and all who are willing to accept it. “But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets; even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; to declare, I say, at this time his l un righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.” Romans 21-25.

Scripture is meant to guide each individual person down their designed path in life. Some have to go further off course then others to realize the truth. Some are never meant to realize it at all. “because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.”Matthew 7:14. If one is truly walking in grace then when looking upon others, one should only see what they pray God sees in themselves. Do not look for others flaws and thinking how to change them. “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” (Matthew 7:1-2). Look for their light and try to magnify it. When their demons come out, recognize them for what they are and look through them. One’s darkness cannot overcome another’s light. If you are to help in battling demons, shield yourself with the armor of God and pray. “Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” Ephesians 6:11 KJV. If we are to help someone, God brings them into our lives for a reason. He will show that reason and, when the time comes, he will show you what to do. What would you want Him to do for you if you were in their situation? “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 7:12 KJV)

To want for another to walk in the light and Gods grace, which is different than walking in this world, one needs to be shown what the light is. Most are beat down by this world, always feeling anger, hate, confusion, and other emotions not felt in grace. Show others that grace and love. Show them something apart from this world. “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” (John 15:12 ). Regardless of reaction, because it may confuse “And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.” John 1:5 , a seed will be planted. That seed will grow if God is allowed to water it.

Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith. Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law. Is he the God of the Jews only? is he not also of the Gentiles? Yes, of the Gentiles also: seeing it is one God, which shall justify the circumcision by faith, and uncircumcision through faith. Do we then make void the law through faith? God forbid: yea, we establish the law.”

Romans 3:27-31 KJV

This is My truth…

“themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.”

— Romans 1:22-23

Knowledge professed wiser than Gods wisdom is corrupted. Knowledge of things beyond the Bible are realm of man and is corrupted. Loop holes only exist in language of the flesh. Systems created by man are made to benefit a selected group who associate with the beliefs or benefactors of said system. Laws are set up by man who don’t agree with actions. Original Laws are simple but vague but shouldn’t need to be interpreted down specifically. Do not kill. If the murder even happened “accidentally” said suspect needed to flee from the area as to not be under threat of retaliation. Any other death caused by another is punishable by death. Would think that would cause people to avoid any action that could potentially cause someone else’s death, BUT people make mistakes so the law was diluted down to accept evil and give it “wiggle room”. Accidents do happen. Knock over a glass, slip and fall, or maybe drink too much and drive drunk killing an entire family. Where should the line be drawn of accepting human error or accepting evil? Slippery slope especially when similar factors of an accident don’t culminate into identical punishment. So called “discretion” diluted by bias, experience, or worse yet- money.

This isn’t the only instance of evil being accepted. Other acts violating original law now broadly accepted adultery, sexual immorality, stealing, or even cursing. Are just a few among almost countless. Might sound ridiculous to think of cursing as evil. These days it’s rolls off the tongue so easily. Cursing is the corruption of language. Curses used as adjectives that dilutes the strength of the word it’s meant to heighten. As if the curse was voided, the following word will lose its strength. The word’s strength was lost when curses became normally used in conjunction with it. New norms become accepted, accepted norms become old norms, and new norms must be invented to keep feeding the darkness. An excuse for evil is a key to opening a new door to an unknown abyss. Small leads to big. Boredom, idleness, complacency, or monotony are all testing times or feelings. Where does the mind go at these times or when these feelings arise? What are the reactions associated with them? What is guiding those reactions?

Any deviation from God’s purpose leads to darkness. Leads to an area that will feel confusing, frustrating, or infuriating from trying to figure out the land of the lost. Lost in death and darkness. The only true way out of darkness is light. Even a pinhole in a realm of darkness can shine bright and lead out, if one chooses to stays focused on the light. The more focused one is on the light the bigger and brighter it becomes. Increases until one’s entire perspective is within the light. If darkness tries to sneak back in, it won’t last long, darkness cannot consume the light. “And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.”

John 1:5 KJV

Searching thru Gods’s word for wisdom over knowledge will give one the ability to discern between real or fake, true or lie, and righteousness from corruption. The more corruption that is purified the more grace one will be able to feel. God is light that surrounds those who search Him with grace.

“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.”

Matthew 6:9-13 KJV

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:9 KJV

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Matthew 6:33 KJV

“And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.”

John 1:5 KJV